Week 1: A Single Tear + Crossover

[innitmarvelous_og]

 

 

The house was quiet. Too quiet, and it's the kind of quiet that comes with everything being fine, but rather it's the sort that permeates after the kids are asleep. Where the world has the expectation that you are okay again.

Eva was curled up on Pepper's lap, her small hand entangled in the blanket and her arm wrapped around her Iron Man plushie. Her mouth was opened slightly, so she's drooling on her mother's shirt but Pepper didn't mind. She felt Eva's breath against her chest, and was the same kind of rhythm she'd used to sleep when she couldn't sleep and she'd would then watch Eva as a baby.

Ethan was the couch beside them, his legs draped just over the edge. He had tried his best to stay awake, just like he was trying to his best to be strong for his mother and sister because he thought that they needed him to be. The documentary on wormholes was on ten minutes in when his eyes drifted closed. Pepper left him where he was for the time being as she didn't have the desire or heart to nudge him to go get in his bed. Not yet anyway.

Pepper sighed as she looked at her children, and thoughts assaulted her about what she should be doing instead of just sitting there.

But instead of easing her way up, her hand drifts to the one of a kind, specially designed StarkPad made just for her by Tony. The pad was smaller than most of the StarkPad line. Tony had recorded some messages for her in case what happened did happen. He told her that after he was almost executed for a crime he didn't commit, he had wanted her to have a visual record of things he wanted to tell her, safe.

Pepper had only been able to watch once - the day after Tony's funeral when JARVIS informed her of its existence. She'd only gotten though half a message before she has shut it off, and threw in a drew where they'd once kept things like pacifiers and rattles.

Now Eva was sleeping in her arms, not such a little baby anymore.

She took a deep breath, and pressed her thumb to sensor to unlock it.

"Identity confirmed. Vault unlocked." the screen said.

The screen flickered to life, and instantly, Tony's smiling face was before her. His hair looks like he just stumbled out of bed, and he's actually wearing one of his old, faded MIT shirt, the one that has an oil stain on the collar.

So that's why I couldn't find that shirt! Pepper thought. She had wanted to sleep in it a few weeks after Tony's death, and she had torn the house apart looking for it. He'd taken with him to the compound when he went to work with the others to bring everyone back.

"Hey, Pep. Honey, if you're watching this... well, I obviously didn't succeed in coming out of the insane time travel plan we had, alive. I am so sorry for that, baby."

He smiled at her, that one hundred thousand mega watt smile he had for her alone, and Pepper felt her heart rate increasing.

"This isn't going to be a long one, and it's not because I don't have a lot to say to you. It's just that I've already said a lot of it in the other messages I left for you on this thing. Anyway, if I know you, Pep, I know you're trying your best to hold it together for them. For the world, and... and for me. And I know if I say too much right now, I know that I'm just gonna make it even harder."

Pepper huffed, Too late, Tony. Too late.

Tony sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck before he continued, "You know what, honey? You did good, babe. You gave me everything. Did you know that? You also made me want to be better every day I got to spend with you and those two incredible little people you gave me. I never dreamed I'd ever have a son, much less one as amazing as Ethan is and Eva... well like I said once before... that little girl is the most incredible gift anyone has ever given me. If I had had one hundred years with you, I would never be able to say thank you enough.

In that moment, Eva stirred on her mother's lap, and Ethan shifted in his sleep, mumbling.

Dad...

It was almost like Tony knew that they were right there with her, asleep as his voice grew softer.

"Tell them both how much I love... how much I loved them, Pep. And I mean every single day."

Pepper clutched her hand over her mouth.

"I love you, Pepper. Sorry we're not going to be able to grow old together like we dreamed, but honey... I am always going to be with you, even if it is just in spirit. I love you more than you'll ever know."

The recording fades to back, and once more the quiet takes over.

Pepper sat there, staring at the blank screen. She doesn't sob. She doesn't let herself shatter. All of that had already happened during the weeks following the funeral while the kids slept.

But tonight, after the man she loved found a way to speak to her beyond the grave...

A single tear slips down her cheek.

But only one.

It is all Pepper will allow herself.

Her kids now need her to be both parents for them. And she promised Tony that she would keep going on. And because the world doesn't stop for grief or pain -- not when she was Pepper Potts Stark, the CEO of a new legacy, mother of two, and holding together all of the broken pieces that he left behind.

She wiped away the tear before it can make its way to Eva's curls.

Pepper pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead, and then she gently slid her arms under her legs. She turned to Ethan to gently nudge him awake, and then the three of them head upstairs to sleep.

Pepper knew she would play the messages but not tonight or even the next. Perhaps not even for months.

But they are there, waiting for her.

And so is he.

He's in their faces. In their laughter. And even in the quiet.

Epilogue
The night, like every other night since he died, was too silent. Pepper was grateful when the phone rang, cutting the silence - even if the hour was a bit late. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Ginny?"

Pepper smiled as she recognized Alicia's steady and warm voice.

"Hi, Alicia. How are you?"

"I think I'm supposed to ask you that question, Gin."

"Yeah, yeah, technicalities," Pepper replied with a smile.

"So how is everything? It's been a few months."

Pepper hesitated then said, "Oh, we're hanging in there. Ethan's trying to convince everyone around him that he's fine. And Eva..." She sighed. "And Eva is still asking why Daddy's not come back home yet. I swear, every time she does, it feels like someone just stabbed me in the heart again."

The other woman didn't respond right away, and then she said. "Grief isn't always predictable or neat. It does what it wants, and can be very messy. You know you are allowed to not be okay, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Pepper replied, her voice breaking slightly, "It's just some days... most days, I feel like I am drowning. I miss him so much, Alicia, and there are times I am not sure I know how to do this without him here with me."

Oh, Gin, I get it. I really do. But you're stronger than you know. You have to take it not one day at a time, or even an hour. Just take it minute but minute. You can do it that way. As for missing Tony... I wish I knew what to say other than time will help eventually."

Pepper squeezed her eyes close, "Thanks. I needed to hear that."

"Anytime. You know I'm here right?"

"Yes, I know." Alicia let out a little laugh in her voice, "And maybe soon, when you're ready, we can talk about old times and have a good laugh. Like when my heels got ruined at the Kappa formal?"

A ghost of a smile across Pepper's lips. "Yeah, that sounds great. I'd love to have some time thinking about those days, and laugh again. Even if it is at my own expense."

"We'll try it soon, Gin."

"Deal."

"Well it's late so I am going to let you go. Take care of yourself, Ginny."

Pepper sighed, "I will. Thanks, Alicia."

As the line went quiet, Pepper put the phone down. She took a deep breath, and then get up to make herself some herbal tea.

She'd take Alicia's advice and take things one minute at a minute until it stopped hurting so much.